10 WAYS TO HAVE A HARMLESS DEBATE

1. We are entitled to our opinion

The present day government we have today, is set up so that we may have our own voice. Don’t take for granted the freedoms we have to for example being allowed to write a personal blog (wink), hang a pride flag, and vote! We have many social media outlets that allow us to voice our opinions publicly. We all have different motives for this: comedy, informative, and obtaining more information. If you post something on social media, expect a response. Facebook, especially is set up so that when you say something people have the opportunity to respond with a comment, unless you fix your settings. Most people don’t know, that if you want to post something, you can turn off others ability to see, like, or even comment! It happens a lot, especially when someone asks a question and gets their desired answer, and no more comments are necessary. Comments get redundant especially when new person comments without seeing that their response was already posted. Which then causes everyone who took part in that post, to continue to get sent annoying notifications (which you can turn off as well). Stop getting mad at people, with opposing views when they comment on your content, especially if you have the ability to turn of commenting, but decide not to.

"Real information doesn’t need flare, because the truth alone is just as worthy. "

2. Stop hyping things up

It’s safe to say each side as a tendency to go to extremes to get their point across. This doesn’t help you. As soon as I read something with ‘shock factor’, I immediately have my doubts about it. Head Lines are notorious for this. Some headline even contradict their entire post; so how does this help anyone? The only one it helps are the sell-out writers who get paid by people clicking, and opening their post. It’s one thing to make money with helpful information, it’s another thing to spread more false information and chaos. Real information doesn’t need flare, because the truth alone is just as worthy.

3. Hear them out, always

Yes, always, even when the idea sounds ridiculous. Don’t be afraid to have a change of heart and get another perspective. Every political debate I’ve ever seen, and I think everyone can agree, becomes frustrating when interrupted. Allow information to get to you, before making a statement. Perhaps this new information could even further prove your point. It’s a respect thing, and makes you appear more competent. People will even enjoy your conversations, and want to have more in the future. Instead take notes, and put it in your pocket for a better opportunity or at least till someone is finished with a sentence.

4. Opinions are not facts

This wont help you get your point across, because they will make you appear less credible. Don’t be afraid to start with, “I believe…” or “A lot of people think…”. State a question, rather than a statement. Challenge your opponent to answer, rather than possibly having someone mistake your opinion for misinformation. Now I know, most wont do this, so stay diligent in detecting these statements, and identify them. When some people do this, they tend to add body language to it; they might laugh, roll their eyes, or put personal flare with their statement. They let their emotions drive them, which can lead to distorted information.

5. Stay on topic

Don’t carrying on a discussion then bring up another topic when you can’t further prove your point. Agree to disagree, or level with them. Its okay to lose an argument, or change your views- yes even in mid-sentence! Anyone who has ever taken a philosophy class will tell you, they have either seen it or it has happened to them. Don’t be embarrassed or angry, the more you show how open you are, the more people will like you, and want to do the same.

6. Common ground

We can all manage to find at least one thing that we can agree on. If you really want to spread your views and have others adapt them, arguing 100% of the time will not do it. If your willing to find a common ground, most likely your opponents will too, and hopefully will continue to do so, and potentially even change sides….MIND BLOWN.

"How far are you willing to follow someone into the fire?"

7. Don’t be afraid to admit you don’t agree with your side

Have you ever seen someone admit something, for the sake of their side? People will start to do this when candidates drop out or loose. Now for the most part this has to be acceptable, right? Your side becomes limited and there’s not much you can do. It just strikes me as fishy because for some, they have spent a good amount of time telling us why they were the wrong choice, but now its okay? I will admit, this is unavoidable in most cases. Maybe I’m just looking for a statement on why this is okay now vs before. Maybe this is thought to be evident, and that’s why people don’t care to address it. Maybe this is why I hate politics! I truly believe politicians enter this profession with good intent but other entities force them to constantly choice between what they believe in and what’s realistic. How far are you willing to follow someone into the fire?

8. Don’t attack your opponent at a personal level

I see this all the time. I’ve seen friends point out personal flaws, because they have run out of ways to get their point across. Listen, we all have our own personal experiences that may or may not have brought us to our beliefs. Having been brought up with a certain belief will definitely have a determining factor in how you approach politics. Being a bully is not a productive way of maintaining a beneficial argument with someone. It may make you feel good, if you’re a bully, but it wont feel as good if you were to actually win on fair terms. Calling someone a name, or even mocking them is uncalled for and it just shows how mature you are, and shows everyone your insecurities.

9. Form your own opinions

Don’t let friends and family force you to believe something you don’t. Do your own research and stay in the know, and know where to get unbiased information. (Check out my other post about how to determine trustworthy sources). If you only getting your information from one source, or person, whose information is tainted, you’ll never have a virgin opinion about something. Admittedly, I’ve gotten a lot of influence from my husband. We live together and talking about this unavoidable-trust me I tried. But the beauty of this is that we constantly keep each other on our feet, while remaining open minded. I’m still not sure what side I stand on (which may be due to my somewhat antigovernmental views and desire for a different type of government all together-but that’s a whole different type of post), but regardless we don’t agree on most topics.

"You don’t owe anyone anything..."

10. You are not a bad person

One thing I have no patience for is for someone telling me I’m a bad person, or labeling me, because of my beliefs. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and just because I believe something does not automatically make me a horrible human being. There are plenty of ammunition from both sides, to be confident in saying this to someone, but just don’t. It’s not a fair assumption and needs to stop. I see this a lot with posts that are meant to be shared, and basically says if you don’t share this, your wrong. You are not racist, bad, inhumane, or a bad mom (although I do love that term). This doesn’t even pertain to just politics, but with other social issues like human trafficking. I am a mother who wants nothing but the best for my child and the next, but this isn’t something new. This has been going on for years, yet your telling me your silence all these years was acceptable, but my silence now is not? That’s not fair and just because I don’t use my social platform for something, doesn’t mean I don’t put thought, time or money into that cause. There are many silent fighters out there, and they don’t need everyone to know in order to make a difference. You don’t owe anyone anything, even an explanation.